


Black Cats Are Lucky

by Chosha_Hoshiko



Series: Love Without Fear [7]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Birthday Fluff, Cosplay, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Otaku Convention, Otaku! Izaya, Otakus, Pajamas & Sleepwear, Pantless and upset Shizuo, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Raijin Days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-05 02:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14607132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chosha_Hoshiko/pseuds/Chosha_Hoshiko
Summary: **Set with the same characters from "Private Lessons" but can be read on its own without "Private Lesson".Izaya spends the night at Shizuo's place so they can celebrate his birthday the next day. Simple enough, right? Except that the flea decides to play a little prank on his beloved Shizu-chan which gets them both thrown out of the house in nothing but their pajamas for an entire day. Well, it's Izaya's birthday, so they have to find a way to have some fun somehow! Even though Shizuo has no pants, Izaya's skipping around in fuzzy cat pajamas, and a black cat just crossed their path, leading them off into some sketchy alleys to meet even sketchier people.What could go wrong?





	Black Cats Are Lucky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Professor_Shwein](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Professor_Shwein/gifts).



> Hi guys! So this is the EXTREMELY late birthday one-shot for our lovely Izaya! I'm dedicating this one to one of my best guest readers who got an account - Professor_Shwein. This one-shot has taken forever to get to you. I'm sorry! Thanks for waiting so patiently! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
> 
> Also, hello to all of you readers of "Private Lessons" and new readers alike! I hope you like this little thing that I wrote on a long drive home last weekend!
> 
> And now, even though it is definitely no longer May 4th (not even close to it XD), here is Izaya's birthday one-shot! Hope you enjoy! <3

“So what are you planning for us today?” Izaya sang, grinning mischievously at Shizuo as the two of them walked along Sunshine 60, hand-in-hand. They were drawing even more odd looks than either of them usually did as they walked, possibly because of the stormy scowl on the taller one’s face that contrasted heavily with the cheerful grin plastered across the shorter one’s, and also possibly because of the grumpy stomps the taller one was moving with versus the happy skips the smaller one was dancing along with. But more than likely, the thing about the two boys that was drawing the most attention were the savage cases of bedhead assaulting their messy hair and the wrinkled, slept-in pajamas adorning their bodies.

They looked like they had just rolled out of bed and started walking down the street, which in reality, they actually had. Izaya had slept over at Shizuo’s house last night, wearing his favorite black cat pajamas with the huge cat head on the chest that Shizuo always said looked sly. Izaya said it looked cute. They both agreed it looked like him.

Now Izaya was skipping along in his fuzzy black cat pants, the cat-Izaya head bouncing on his chest as his loose shirt fluttered around his skipping body, feet completely bare as they pounded along the sidewalk. And Shizuo was trudging along beside him gloomily, a large dinosaur T-shirt hanging off his lean frame and plain blue boxers serving as “shorts” as his own bare feet dragged across the cement walkway. 

“Come on, Shizu-chan!” Izaya whined, skipping around in front of his gloomy boyfriend so he was now skipping backwards (no easy feat, although Izaya was a master at hiding how difficult he thought things were), still holding onto the blonde’s hand. “Say something! We get to hang out together all day today! And it _is_ my birthday, after all! Let’s do something fun!”

“Even if it _is_ your birthday, we’re only hanging out together all day because we got kicked out.” Shizuo muttered gruffly, his cheeks tingeing slightly red at the memory of why exactly they’d been kicked out of his parents’ house.

Admittedly, it had been Izaya’s fault. The raven had thought that stealing Shizuo’s fluffiest pillow from its pillowcase and replacing it with an open bag of powdered sugar had been a great idea. The blonde had a habit of crashing down on his pillow like a tree falling in the forest, just letting his head slam onto the poor sleeping aid without remorse, completely squashing it underneath his thick skull. Izaya felt sorry for that poor little pillow, and he also realized what a fabulous prank replacing it for a night would be. He hadn’t gotten to do it at night since Shizuo completely exhausted him with a karaoke tournament that lasted all the way until midnight, and both of them had just crashed into their pillows once they were done, passing out instantly.

In the morning, it was a different story.

Izaya had woken up with the sun and the sky (how poetic) and instantly crept out of Shizuo’s futon, beginning his noble mission to save the pillows. Said noble mission involved a careful invasion of the kitchen in search of a powdery substance that would explode upon contact, a few test trials that left various spices scattered across the counters, and a jackpot find with the recently opened, not too full but just full enough bag of powdered sugar. Izaya had rushed back upstairs (after cleaning up the evidence of course) and snuck back into Shizuo’s bedroom with an evil cackle.

The trickiest part of the endeavor was figuring out how to lift Shizuo’s head and keep him asleep while Izaya removed the fluffy pillow from its case and slipped in the powdered sugar. He’d gently lifted his boyfriend’s head, looking frantically around the room for something else to set the tall boy’s head on for a few seconds. He briefly considered bunching up some blankets to shove under the guy’s head, but it might disrupt Shizuo’s sleep if the cold air hit his exposed legs so that wouldn’t work. Using Izaya’s pillow wouldn’t work either because Shizuo might end up sinking into and wanting to stay on that one. So he’d set Shizuo’s head down on his own lap, giving the blonde a few seconds to settle comfortably in his new perch, burying his face in the crack between Izaya’s thighs like the wannabe mole he was, before he resumed his noble mission.

He easily slipped the fluffy pillow out and replaced it with the powdered sugar, making sure the open end was directed in the same way as the open end of the pillowcase to allow the sugar to fly out. Then he set the “pillow” back down where Shizuo had put it before, hiding Shizuo’s actual pillow underneath his own.

Then he began to gently poke at Shizuo’s cheeks, rousing the sleepy boy from his slumber.

“Mmmm…’Zaya?” Shizuo grumbled, blinking his golden eyes blearily and squinting at the raven like he was trying to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating his boyfriend.

Izaya smiled sweetly at Shizuo, pressing a soft kiss to the blonde’s forehead and brushing some hair out of his eyes. “Hello, my Shizu-chan.” He said happily, brushing the side of Shizuo’s face with his fingers. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mmmm…” Shizuo responded, nodding a bit and leaning into Izaya’s fingers with a huff, closing his golden eyes and letting his head drop down on Izaya’s lap. Izaya tried not to wince at the sharp pain that jolted in his legs at the harsh force that had just crashed into them. Geez, was Shizuo’s head made of metal or something?! Ouch!

But Izaya kept stroking Shizuo’s hair lovingly, saying all kinds of sweet and loving things to the sleepy blonde, red eyes flickering over to look at the trap he had set for his monster. Honestly, the amount of sappy words and sweet gestures that Izaya was using should have been a major tip-off for the blonde. Izaya was never this cuddly and sweet. It made him more uncomfortable than almost anything else on the face of the planet.

Then again, Shizuo was pretty tired. He might actually think he was dreaming or he could still be half-asleep. Cute and cuddly Izaya might make sense to Shizuo’s sleeping brain.  
In any case, Izaya kept soothing Shizuo with all those sappy words, subtly scooting closer to Shizuo’s new and improved pillow and picking up the blonde’s head, getting ready to transfer it to the waiting trap.

Shizuo had decided to move himself before Izaya could do anything however, muttering something about independence and pillows as he shuffled over to his pillow, letting his head hang down over the pillow with his hands planted on either side of it for a few seconds.

Izaya bit back the grin forming on his face, heart beginning to pound eagerly in his chest as he recognized the position. It was the way Shizuo always set himself up above the pillow before plopping his head down on it, the full force of his body often crushing the pillow flat. The drop was coming. It was coming! He couldn’t wait!

Izaya didn’t have to wait for long. Shizuo’s head crashed down on the pillow like the boulder it was, and a beautifully satisfying cloud of white dust exploded from one end of the pillowcase, blasting the startled Shizuo’s hand in soft white sugar, making him leap up from the bed in shock. The blonde grabbed the pillow with wild eyes, and his mind must have still be addled from sleep because he lifted it over his head to try and peer inside the pillow…and the rest of the sugar poured onto his head.

Actually the whole bag fell right on his head, a huge cloud of white sugar blooming around his body and coating every inch of it while the paper bag covered his head like a mask and hid his shocked expression.

Izaya couldn’t help himself. At the sight of his notoriously gruff and tough boyfriend, coated in white powdery sugar with a paper bag covering his head, he lost it, doubling over in laughter and cackling wildly at the blonde’s plight.

It only took about three seconds for the following events to escalate from the point of Shizuo ripping the bag off his head with a yell to the two of them running through the house and accidentally smashing his mother’s dining table. This of course promptly led to the two being banished from the house, still wearing their pajamas, and locked outside by a very angry Namiko Heiwajima and an only slightly apologetic Kichirou Heiwajima.

Izaya had dutifully cleaned all the powder off his boyfriend while he stood fuming on the front porch, trying not to laugh when he saw the pure white face glaring at him in rage. Shizuo looked like a grumpy teenage boy who’d gotten into his mother’s perfume and applied way too much foundation in the wrong shade.

Izaya kept these thoughts to himself of course, and once his boyfriend was nearly all clean, the two of them had decided to just go for a walk in their pajamas.

Which led them to the glorious present, where Izaya was trying to get Shizuo out of his gloomy funk and convince the blonde to spend the day doing fun things instead of sulking about getting kicked out of the house.

“Who cares if we got kicked out?” Izaya asked, poking at Shizuo’s cheek as he skipped, beaming brightly at the blonde when he looked up. “We still have each other, right? And there’s no school today, so we’ve also got the whole day all to ourselves! Plus, we get to walk around in pajamas!”

Shizuo’s face flushed red at the reminder and he looked down self-consciously at his blue boxers, seriously wishing he’d worn pants that night like Izaya. He could be arrested for public indecency at any moment for walking around in his underwear.

“I want pants.” The blonde muttered by means of reply, trying his best not to meet anyone’s eyes as they walked along. “Plus, it looks like it’s going to rain soon.”

Yes, Izaya had to admit that the sky was getting a little cloudy, which wasn’t exactly conducive to the pantless Shizuo right now, and it didn’t show any signs of improving. He hummed at his boyfriend’s desire for lower garments, glancing around to see if there was anyone around them who was about the same height as Shizu-chan. He didn’t really see anyone. Even all of the adults were shorter than his massive monster.

“I don’t see anyone we can mug to get some pants for you.” Izaya said casually, and Shizuo’s head snapped up to glare at his boyfriend. “I don’t want to _mug_ anyone!” He growled, and Izaya laughed at the grumpy look on his boyfriend’s face. “Okay, okay.” Izaya said easily, waving his hands in the air to calm the boy down. “No mugging. But I don’t exactly have money stashed in my pajamas so unless you want to go dumpster diving, you’re stuck in boxers.”

Shizuo’s face flushed red at the thought of wearing nothing but boxers all day, and he began to furtively look around, almost hoping to see a nice dumpster around the corner.  
Izaya noticed what he was doing and laughed, grabbing his boyfriend’s hands again and pulling him happily along the sidewalk. “We’ll find something for you to wear, Shizu-chan.” Izaya promised, tugging his boyfriend behind him. “Even if we have to scrounge in the darkest alleys of Ikebukuro for the swankiest dumpster dives, we’ll find you something that a poor, height-afflicted man threw away at some point for us to use.”

Shizuo scowled from behind Izaya at the light teasing about his height, but the warm gesture from the raven pacified him somewhat nonetheless.

Even though it was the raven’s fault that they were in this mess in the first place.

“Yes, we’ll find something!” Izaya sang, his red eyes scanning the sidewalk in front of him to see if he could spot any upcoming alleys. “If we just keep looking, we’re sure to find a CAT!”

Shizuo blinked at the unexpected scream from his boyfriend, glancing at the back of his head in question. “We’re sure to find a cat?” He repeated, brow wrinkling in confusion. “Are you sure you said that right?”

“No! No, Shizu-chan! It’s a cat! It’s a black cat!” Izaya said excitedly, pulling on Shizuo’s hand and pointing at the furry creature sitting on the sidewalk in front of them.

“Say what?” Shizuo asked in surprise, peering over his boyfriend’s head and noticing that there was indeed a black cat sitting on the sidewalk, right in their pathway, staring at them.

Because _that_ wasn’t creepy at all.

“Izaya, aren’t black cats in your path supposed to be bad luck?” Shizuo asked slowly, looking around to see if he could find some other route for them to walk.

“What? No way! I’m wearing a black cat on my chest right now!” Izaya protested, pointing at his pajama shirt with a short glare directed at Shizuo and then turning his attention to the cat again in delight.

“Izaya, that doesn’t mean black cats aren’t unlucky.” Shizuo sighed, looking at the silent animal with a hint of nervousness. He always preferred dogs to cats. Cats were cute and he loved them, but dogs were friendly and happy and you could actually tell what they were thinking most of the time. With cats, you could only guess and hope you weren’t doing anything to make them mad. And this cat was giving them a look that Shizuo could read even less than he could read most cats’ expressions. He didn’t like it at all.

“This is my lucky shirt, so black cats must be lucky.” Izaya responded stoutly, clearly not willing to let the argument drop as he bent down to his knees and held his hand out to the cat, gesturing it over. “Come here, little guy. I wanna say hi to you.”

“It’s a cat, Izaya.” Shizuo said in exasperation. “It won’t come when you call it.”

“Hush up.” Izaya responded immediately, his smile and gaze still fixed on the cat. “Come here.”

“How can that shirt even be your lucky shirt?” Shizuo wondered aloud, staring at the questionable pattern. “You got it on Halloween, it was the 13th shirt to be bought that day from the store, and you nearly got mugged two seconds after putting it on.”

“Exactly!” Izaya chirped happily. “Halloween is my favorite holiday, 13 is my lucky number, and the key word you used there was _nearly_. So _obviously_ this shirt is lucky!”

Shizuo groaned and shook his head, wishing he could transfer some of his own sense into Izaya’s head for once, just so he could win at least one argument.

But, to Shizuo’s further exasperation, the universe just ended up making him lose another argument instead.

The black cat trotted happily over to Izaya, meowing at him and leaning into his hand as the delighted raven stroked its silky ears gently. “Aww! See, Shizu-chan? The cat came over.” Izaya said smugly, sticking his tongue out at Shizuo haughtily and returning to petting his new friend.

“Well, shows what I know.” Shizuo sighed, bending down and peering at the cat curiously. “So what’s this guy’s name?”

“Dunno.” Izaya sang, his thumb stroking circles on the top of the cat’s head soothingly. “But he’s cute!”

“At least you know the important things.” Shizuo rolled his eyes, eyeing the black-coated feline. “But we should really keep looking for clothes.”

Izaya pouted at the suggestion and looked down at the black cat with his ruby eyes. “Do you know where we can get free clothes, my pretty friend?” Izaya asked it sweetly, rubbing his nose lightly against the cat’s nose as the small animal purred.

Shizuo could feel pangs of jealousy shoot through him at the sight. Only _he_ should get to put his face that close to Izaya’s.

“Alright, alright, break it up.” Shizuo growled, pulling Izaya away with one hand and pushing the cat away with the other.

“Hey!” Izaya protested, shooting him a small glare. “Do you mind? I was trying to get directions.”

“By rubbing noses with some strange cat?” Shizuo demanded, glaring right back. “You don’t do that, Izaya!”

“What is it with you and asking for directions?” Izaya stomped his foot, crossing his arms and huffing in frustration.

“It’s got nothing to do with that!” Shizuo said in exasperation, grabbing at his messy blonde hair with a growl. “Nothing at all!”

The cat was watching the two of them the whole time, that same unreadable expression on his face, until it meowed loudly, catching both of their attentions. 

“Huh? What is it, lovely?” Izaya asked, looking down at the cat in surprise.

“What do you want?” Shizuo demanded roughly, crossing his arms and glaring at the feline.

The cat shot Shizuo a look that just screamed how much it didn’t care about what he thought, and then began purring at Izaya, stretching itself out and showing off to gain the raven’s attention.

“Aww!” The raven cooed, starting to bend down again to pet the little beggar.

“Hey! Don’t keep petting the strange cat!” Shizuo protested, grabbing Izaya’s arms and hauling him to his feet.

“Why not?” Izaya demanded, looking like he was getting ready to slap the blonde at any second.

The cat began meowing again, and Shizuo was about two seconds away from squashing the dang thing into a pulp when it took off, running away down the sidewalk.

“Oh good.” Shizuo said at the same time that Izaya cried, “No! Come back!” And took off running after it.

“Hey wait! Izaya!” Shizuo yelled, growling in frustration and anger before running after his crazy boyfriend. “Now we’re actually _chasing_ the dang cat!” Shizuo snarled to himself as his bare feet pounded along the pavement, eyes locked on the flying form of Izaya in front of him. “We aren’t just stopping to look at it, stopping to pet it, and asking it for directions, but we’re _chasing_ it. Just typical!”

“Come back, Mr. Cat!” Izaya cried, hopping gracefully over a car that slid to a surprised halt in the intersection that the raven was now dashing through. Shizuo groaned and ran around the car, apologizing profusely to the angry drivers as he went, swearing under his breath to squash both the cat _and_ his boyfriend when he caught up to them.

Izaya took a sharp left down another road and Shizuo followed, wishing this crazy chase would end soon.

They bobbed and weaved around all kinds of people and animals, Izaya dancing gracefully and swiftly around every stunned object or person who got in his way and Shizuo far less gracefully plowing through them, yelling apologies the whole time.

Eventually, the black cat ducked around one final building and stopped in front of another, pawing at the door with a pathetic mewing.

“Good lord!” Shizuo growled, huffing and puffing as he burst around the corner, planting his hands on his knees as his chest heaved wildly, a fierce glare aimed at the stupid cat. “What was that all about?!”

“Oh, don’t mind him, Mr. Cat.” Izaya said breezily, waving a hand dismissively at Shizuo while he walked over to his new best friend with a bright smile. “He’s just grumpy that he got kicked out of the house this morning like the bad dog he is.”

“Excuse me, mister, but _you_ were the bad kitty who got me kicked out in the first place!” Shizuo growled, stomping after his boyfriend and gently knocking the raven in the back of the head. “Why don’t you share the responsibility, huh?”

“You’re so mean, Shizu-chan!” Izaya whined, rubbing the back of his head with a pout. “I was making a good excuse for your rudeness and you had to go and hit me for it!”

“Aww, poor baby.” A voice cooed out of nowhere.

“Shut up! I’m not a baby! You’re just an inhumanly strong jerk!” Izaya huffed, pushing Shizuo in the chest and glaring at him.

“What? I didn’t say that!” Shizuo protested, taking a few steps back and looking around the small alley they were in. The only living creature he could see besides himself and Izaya was the stupid cat. He glared suspiciously at it, but Izaya’s snort of doubt dragged him back to the current conversation.

“I’m serious! I didn’t call you a baby!” Shizuo insisted, grabbing his boyfriend’s shoulders and looking him hard in the eyes. “You’re anything _but_ a baby.”

Izaya gave Shizuo a suspicious once over, but he did seem convinced that the blonde was telling the truth after a few seconds. “Well, if it wasn’t you, then who said that?” Izaya asked, glancing behind himself at the small building they were standing in front of before looking back at Shizuo. “There’s no one else here.”

“Oh no, dear one.” The same voice purred, and both Shizuo and Izaya jumped and looked down at the black cat in shock.

The cat was still staring up at them, a sort of sly look in its eyes as it settled itself in front of the door that it had been scratching at.

“M-Mr. Cat?” Izaya asked hesitantly, staring at the black cat with wide eyes. “Were you just…talking?”

“There are others here besides you two and Sebastian, you know.” The voice came again, and Shizuo and Izaya looked up in shock as the door the cat was sitting in front of opened to reveal…a…butler?

Shizuo stared at the tall man in utter confusion, noting the sly smirk that the man wore which perfectly matched the one on the cat’s face, and the oddly red eyes which peered out at him from beside perfectly combed black hair. But they weren’t as beautiful as Izaya’s ruby orbs. These ones were closer to the color of rusty metal, old stained rusty metal, and there was something off about them that Shizuo just couldn’t put his finger on. They seemed almost…fake.

“My name is Sebastian Michaelis.” The man announced elegantly, bowing to them as the cat ran inside the building past him. “That feline you just met was my pet cat, whose name is also Sebastian.”

Shizuo was about to ask why both the butler and his cat were named after a singing Jamaican crab from a Disney movie, but a high-pitched squeal from Izaya cut him off.

“Oh my gosh!” Izaya shrieked, pushing past Shizuo harshly to stand in front of the man and gawk. “Like the demonic butler, Sebastian Michaelis?!” He asked excitedly, bouncing up and down and looking the man excitedly up and down. “No way! No way, no way, no waaaay!”

“Uh, am I missing something?” Shizuo asked bluntly, staring at Izaya in bewilderment.

Izaya turned to look at Shizuo in horror. “That’s Sebastian Michaelis! Demonic butler extraordinaire, servant to Ciel Phantomhive, seducer of all women, cat lover on steroids, and only one of the biggest butler heartthrobs in all of anime!” He yelled, the look on his face making Shizuo feel like somehow Izaya thought all of that would be obvious.

“I’m honored that you know me so well, young master.” The Sebastian guy purred, bowing low to Izaya who squealed in delight and clapped his hands like a child at Christmas. “It seems my cat has done well once again in finding new targets.”

Shizuo did not like the sound of that at all. New targets? That could only turn out so many ways, and none of them sounded like fun.

“Oh wow!” Izaya gushed, clapping his hands excitedly as his eyes sparkled at the butler. “I can’t believe I’m meeting Sebastian Michaelis! And your cosplay of him is so _lifelike_!”

The butler slipped out of character for just a few seconds, beaming proudly and placing a hand on his chest as he grinned at Izaya. “Thank you! I worked really hard on it, especially with finding the right colored contacts.” He said, tapping at the sides of his eyes and winking at Izaya. “And by the way, you have a great cosplay outfit there, too! Are you supposed to be some kind of demon child who slept in? You look like you’re trying to pass as Ciel and Sebastian’s secret love child!” He laughed loudly, and Izaya laughed with him, clearly loving the idea of being the lovechild of…those two people.

Shizuo didn’t really watch anime too often. The only shows he really knew were the cartoons he used to watch as a child and that was stuff like Pokemon, Doraemon, and (yes, he would admit it) Ro Kyu Bu. Nothing else really passed onto Shizuo’s radar, and he certainly hadn’t ever heard of this Sebastian Mich-what’s-his-face. All he knew was that the guy and Izaya seemed to be speaking in an entirely different language than Japanese, and Shizuo was thoroughly confused.

“I soooo totally ship Sebaciel more than Cielizzy.” Izaya was saying, his red eyes sparkling as he grinned at the butler. “Like BL and yaoi all the way! Come _on_ , the subtext in the show makes it pretty clear that this isn’t some regular middle-age romance!”

“Ah, but you have to admit that Lizzy is so devoted to Ciel despite all he puts her through! It’s sweet!” The butler argued, clasping his hands and gazing at the sky longingly. “How I wish for an innocent loli to follow me around and love me just as much!” He sighed.

“You _have_ read the manga, right?” Izaya asked suspiciously. “Lizzy is anything _but_ an innocent loli! She’s way more of a warrior-type teen.”

“She still seems totally himedere, though.” The butler mused, tapping his lips thoughtfully. “Can we agree on that?”

“We can agree on that if you agree Ciel is more tsundere than kuudere.” Izaya replied immediately, and the butler jumped back in shock. “Say what?! No way! Ciel it totally a kuudere!” The man argued, jabbing a finger into Izaya’s chest with a glare. “He’s cold and heartless all the way through!”

“No way! He’s occasionally sweet towards others when they break through his exterior! That’s so obviously tsundere!” Izaya argued back, swatting the hand away and jabbing his own finger in the butler’s face. “What about the Hamlet OVA episode where he changed the play to make the kids happy?”

“He was just doing it so the play would be successful! He didn’t really care!” The butler shouted back.

“Oh, and I suppose Ciel and Lizzy are clearly soulmates.” Izaya said sarcastically, his red eyes narrowing as he planted his hands on his hips defiantly. “What crazy world are you _living_ in?”

“I could say the same to you!” The butler yelled, holding up his fists and glaring fiercely at Izaya. “Don’t mess with my OTP!”

“Your OTP? Dude, get a better one!” Izaya held up his own fists, bouncing in place and looking like he was seriously about to kick this guy’s butt.

Okay, Shizuo should probably intervene here before things got out of hand.

“Um, hey guys-” He tried to say as he stepped forward, but a shout from the butler guy cut him off.

“The show will clearly end with Cielizzy! They’re meant to be!” He yelled, fake red eyes flashing.

“Heck no! Cielizzy would only ever happen in some wacky doujinshi! Kuroshitsuji is a yaoi romance all the way through!” Izaya screamed in response, his anger spiking.

“You clearly underestimate the power of moe!” The butler cried. “Lizzy will win Ciel’s heart!”

“Moe falls to BL every time!” Izaya retorted. “I refuse to live in a world where that statement of unquestionable fact is untrue!”

What the heck was even going on? These guys had seemed like they were getting along at first but now they looked ready to full-on brawl. Shizuo helplessly watched the two of them, wondering what the fight was even about. He couldn’t understand a word of the conversation. All he knew was that the butler guy was supporting something called Cielizzy on the basis of…moe? And Izaya was going for Sebaciel under the influence of BL. Whatever the heck BL was.

No matter what the argument was about, it seemed downright stupid to Shizuo. Couldn’t they just switch the topic to something else?

“Guys!” He tried again, raising his voice a bit in the hopes of getting their attention.

“BL is supreme! I am a fudanshi and I won’t calm down!” Izaya was screeching, jabbing his fists towards the butler in preparation for an actual attack.

“The power of fujoshis and fudanshis pales next to canon relationships!” The butler howled in response, readying his own fist for a punch aimed right at Izaya’s face.

Okay, if that guy actually tried to punch Izaya, Shizuo didn’t care how stupid their argument was, he was going to deck him flat on his back. His own fists were already raising in preparation for his boyfriend’s defense when the door behind the butler flew open and a teenage girl poked her head out.

“The power of yaoi compels you!” She screamed, shoving the butler out of her way and dashing madly over to Izaya’s side. There she stood, facing the butler in the dress of some kind of witch, a pointed hat perched on her brown hair and tilted slightly to the side as her deep brown eyes flashed in warning towards the butler. “BL shall reign for all time!” She chattered, stars flashing in her eyes at whatever crazy thing she was thinking of.

“Ciel is uke and Sebastian is seme!” Izaya cried, grabbing the girl’s hands and spinning her around, still glaring at the butler the whole time.

“The yaoi is meant to be and your pitiful cries cannot stop us!” The girl agreed, spinning around Izaya like she’d been doing it for years and then spinning Izaya himself, dipping him down before pulling him back up and shoving her face in the butler’s right alongside the face of Shizuo’s boyfriend.

“We shall never give in!” Both Izaya and the girl screamed, their eyes narrowed in determination as stars flashed in their terrifying depths.

“B!” The girl yelled, pumping one fist into the air.

“L!” Izaya scream in response, pumping his fist on the other side up into the air besides hers.

“B!” The girl yelled again, pumping her fist once more.

“L!” Izaya cried, copying the motion with his own hand.

The psychotic chanting continued for several seconds until the butler guy made the right call and hissed at them, running off into the building after his cat with shouts about crazed fujoshis and fudanshis.

A few seconds after the guy left, the girl turned to Izaya with a huge grin, bowing to him in delight. “Karisawa Erika!” She chirped. “A pleasure to meet a fellow yaoi fan!”

“Orihara Izaya!” Izaya sang in response, returning the bow with one of his own. “The pleasure is all mine!”

Both parties snapped up and began chattering eagerly about all kinds of things that Shizuo – once again – did not understand a single word of. He was beginning to think that he’d stepped into some kind of alternate world where the language revolved entirely around terms from anime and manga. If so, he seriously needed to get back to his own world, pants or no pants.

“Izaya.” Shizuo growled, grabbing his boyfriend’s shoulder to get the raven’s attention. “Can we _please_ leave?”

“Shizu-chan!” Izaya said in surprise, smiling up at Shizuo with a happy look on his face. “I almost forgot you were there!”

“Gee, thanks.” Shizuo muttered, glancing over at the Erika chick suspiciously.

He almost stepped back in fright when he saw the look on her face, brown eyes locked intently on him as greed flashed through them and a dark giggle rose up from her mouth.  
“Seme, seme, seme!” She chanted evilly, clapping her hands and grinning at Shizuo. “Oh so totally the seme!”

“Nuh uh! I could be more than uke!” Izaya protested, huffing and crossing his arms. “I just need a few knives and some helpful drugs.”

Erika laughed at this, hugging Izaya with a squeal of delight and spouting out some rather disturbing statement about knowing where to find exactly the kinds of drugs he was talking about before turning her attention back on Shizuo.

“So are you S type or a big brother?” She asked with a creepy grin, and Shizuo could tell that neither of those options could be anything short of completely perverted just from that grin.

“Neither!” He snapped, glaring at the crazy girl who was still hugging his boyfriend. “I’m just a person!”

“Oh come on! What’s the kink? What’s your type? How does your relationship work? I have to know!” The girl whined, pulling back from Izaya and looking at the raven with a pout, her arms still looped around his neck. “Come on, you gotta tell me!”

“It’s not S-M or BDSM or brother kink!” Izaya rattled immediately, naturally fluent in yet another language that Shizuo wasn’t.

“Are you himedere? Tsundere? Kamidere? Yandere?” The girl asked next, her eyes shining in delight as she leaned in towards Izaya’s face.

Izaya grinned and pointed at Shizuo. “He’s a violent tsundere and I’m an adorable tsundere!” Izaya announced, looking quite proud of himself at…whatever he’d just said. “I’d say our relationship is more monkey-dog!”

Erika laughed, holding her stomach as she doubled over in glee. “Fighting a lot, huh? Must be exciting!” She sang, and Izaya laughed with her, nodding his head. “Oh yeah! And Shizu-chan is totally the dog.” He snickered, and Erika snickered with him, looking at Shizuo with a sly grin that he really wished he could punch right off her face.

Unfortunately, “she” was a “she” and Izaya seemed to like her, which meant punching was off-limits.

“I don’t care if I’m a dog, a monkey, a cat, a fox, a horse, or a goat.” Shizuo growled, crossing his arms and huffing. “I just want to find some pants and get a move on with my life.”

“You need clothes?!” Erika screeched in delight, seeming to notice that Shizuo was lacking pants for the first time in their conversation. Then she glanced at Izaya and noticed his fuzzy pajamas. “Oh you do need clothes! Come on in! Come, come! We’re having a cosplay convention so you can borrow all the clothes you want!” She sang, grabbing Izaya’s hand and tugging him into the building of no return.

Izaya’s hand latched onto Shizuo’s wrist before the blonde could decide whether ditching his boyfriend was worth it or not, and he was pulled in just moments after, praying that he wouldn’t regret this for the rest of his life.

***

Shizuo definitely didn’t regret it after Izaya started trying on all the different outfits. And every ounce of possible regret was swept away into the ocean when the raven came prancing out in cat ears and a cat tail, climbing right onto Shizuo’s lap and purring like the kitten he was pretending to be.

“You’re getting way too into this.” Shizuo muttered, despite the way his cheeks flushed red as his boyfriend purred on his lap. “It’s just a cosplay convention.”

“It’s a full-on otaku convention with cosplay!” Izaya corrected, slipping out of character briefly as he tapped on Shizuo’s nose. “And I never get to do these sorts of things, so I’m going to put all of my effort into it! Plus, it’s my birthday. I want to do this for my birthday!”

“This?” Shizuo repeated, looking around the room they were in skeptically. It was a back room, set away from the rest of the convention which was taking place in a large warehouse-like area just through a door on the other side of the room. Erika was apparently volunteering at the convention as a worker alongside her friends “Sebastian” and a different teenage boy named Walker, whom she’d introduced them to right away.

She’d introduced them as “proof of BL and its strength in the universe”, so Shizuo wasn’t actually sure if Walker knew their names, but he seemed happy enough to meet them, and he was thrilled to see how adorable Izaya looked in most of the outfits he tried on.

“You could pass for a loli if you tried!” The boy sang, his cheeks flushed red and his eyes dreamy as he thought about something Shizuo didn’t ever want to see. “You’re so totally shota but you could pass for a moe loli!”

“He isn’t moe! He’s like a mini street-thug!” Erika had protested, hugging Izaya close to her chest. “He’s way too tough to be moe!”

“He can be tough and moe!” Walker had argued back. “All he needs is some naivety!”

“Moe is in the eye of the beholder!” Izaya had chirped happily. “I’ll be moe to Walker and thuggish to Erika!”

That made both otakus ecstatically happy, and they seemed to adopt Izaya right then and there as their “otaku kohai”, throwing all kinds of free outfits at him and lavishing him with attention and praise.

“He’s such an adorable kitten!” Erika cried, her hands on her cheeks as she had some kind of fangirl attack over seeing Izaya cuddle on Shizuo’s lap. “It’s a catboy relationship! Kyaa~!”

“It won’t be for long!” Walker cried, practically picking the smaller Izaya up off Shizuo’s lap and dragging him into the dressing room. “Now we move on to actual characters!”  
“Oooh, let me help pick who he’s gonna be!” Erika said eagerly, dashing into the changing room after them despite her gender.

“Yay!” Izaya cheered, not at all bothering by the way he was essentially being abducted and dragged into a strange room by even stranger people. “I can’t wait! Shizu-chan, wait right there for me!”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Shizuo sighed, relaxing into the couch he’d been sitting on for the past hour. “I got some free pants out of this wacky event and you’re having fun. I won’t leave yet.”

“Good!” Erika’s voice sang from the back. “Because I think I have the perfect idea for your outfit!”

“Wait… _my_ outfit?” Shizuo repeated, slowly sitting up in his chair in worry. “What do you mean “ _my_ outfit”?”

He didn’t get an actual response, just one freakishly evil giggle as Erika yanked the dressing room curtains shut behind herself and presumably moved on to her duties with Izaya’s outfit.

Alright, no matter how much fun he was having watching Izaya dress up and genuinely enjoy himself on his birthday, if Shizuo was about to get dragged into a dressing room by a perverted otaku, he was going to bolt.

“I can’t handle that freakish world.” Shizuo muttered, standing up from the couch and frantically looking around for an exit. “I can barely understand the words that come out of their mouths! How am I supposed to actually participate in this convention thing? I’ll just be standing there like an idiot!”

Nope. He definitely had to go. Where was the nearest exit? Where was it, where was it, where was it?!

Ah, there!

He spotted a door on the other side of the room marked “EXIT” in glowing red words of salvation. That was his ticket out of this place. He needed to get over there, fast!

But Shizuo had barely taken one step towards the door when he heard a dreadful sound.

“Done!” Erika cried in delight from somewhere back in the dressing rooms. “Oh my goodness, you make a perfect Ritsuka!”

“I'm so happy to be playing a character like him!” Izaya sang happily. “And on my birthday, too!”

“Oh, happy birthday then, my wonderful kohai!” Walker’s voice could be heard next, along with the sound of someone hugging someone else. “Now let’s grab your boyfriend before he escapes and turn him into Soubi!”

“Better hurry. He’s probably already running for the door.” Izaya told them casually.

_“Traitor!”_ Shizuo thought as he resumed his run, frantically dashing for his freedom as fast as he could.

But as fast as he could apparently wasn’t fast enough when he was racing against two determined otakus.

“Got you!” Walker cried in glee, two arms looping around Shizuo’s waist and clamping onto his with surprising security. “You aren’t escaping that easily, Soubi!”

“And if you try to escape, we’ll solder your eyeballs with a hot iron!” Erika added cheerfully, grabbing Shizuo’s arm and tugging the shocked blonde towards the dressing room. “Now come! Your boyfriend awaits!”

“He’s not your boyfriend anymore though.” Walker added, and a brief moment of panic shot through Shizuo at those words.

“W-What?” He asked quickly, his heart pounding in terror and he stared at the oblivious Walker.

Walker’s head turned to face him, his eyes still closed like always, a little bit of confusion crossing his features. “He’s your Sacrifice.” The otaku said as though it was obvious. “And you’re his Fighter Unit.”

“Walker! He has no idea what that means!” Erika chided, and Shizuo was about to thank her when she added, “He hasn’t gotten into costume yet!”

_“Do they think that once I dress up as this Soubi guy I will suddenly become him?”_ Shizuo wondered. With a growing feeling of dread, he realized that yes, they probably did.

“Come along, Soubi!” Walker sang. “It’s time to transform!”

“Someone kill me now.” Shizuo said flatly before he was dragged into the dressing room, about to be forced into something that he would no doubt hate with every fiber of his being.

***

“Beautiful!”

“Perfect, some might say.”

“Erika, you are a genius!”

“Oh my god, I know right?!”

Izaya beamed happily at all of the people leaning in around him, taking pictures and gasping in awe at the incredible cosplay outfit he was wearing.

_“That’s right, my lovely humans!”_ Izaya thought in his head, holding out his arms and showing off to the adoring crowd. _“Love me and how absolutely fabulous I am!”_

After putting on his Ritsuka Aoyagi costume – long black pants, a high-collar sky blue jacket with a white stripe down the middle and a long purple shirt under the jacket, just sticking out under its rim – Izaya felt so cool. He really did feel like he was a part of the anime thanks to Erika’s incredible skills with hair-styling and cosplay outfits in general, and of course the black cat tail hanging from his pants and the large cat ears buried deep in his hair only added to the effect.

“Ritsuka, you’re so cuuute!” One girl squealed, taking frantic pictures of Izaya with her phone.

“No, I’m not!” Izaya argued, making his voice a little bit higher than usual to match the 12 year old tone of Ritsuka. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Are you and Soubi not talking right now?” Another picture-taker teased, looking over in glee at the mortified Shizuo standing by Izaya. “Is he ignoring your questions like usual?”

“He always ignores my questions. He never tells me what I want to know!” Izaya responded immediately, knowing the character of Ritsuka like the back of his hand. He glanced over at “Soubi” with a glare that he crafted especially to be half angry, half guilty. A conflicted glare, just for Ritsuka. “But I can’t order him to tell me…because then…” He looked away sadly, staring at the ground at his feet. “We’ll just be…the one who follows orders…and the one who gives them. Nothing more.”

“Kyaaaaaa!” Half the girls in the room screamed, completely shoving Shizuo aside at this point to get as many pictures as they could of Izaya, who did his best to keep his Ritsuka expression of sadness on his face instead of his own Izaya smirk from creeping into its place.

When he glanced at Shizuo out of the corner of his eye, he also had to try not to laugh.

Soubi was a character who typically had an aura of calm about himself, even if he had all kinds of emotional turmoil going on inside his brain, and he usually only let his anger out in battles against others. He had a sort of sweet yet mysterious smile (in those moments where he could be seen smiling) and other than that, he was abnormally good at hiding his turbulent emotions.

Shizuo was…quite opposite to that. Right now he was doing a pretty good job of portraying a sulking Soubi, but whenever people came up to him, trying to snap pictures of the long brownish-blonde wig Erika had put on him or the signature circular glasses that Soubi always wore, not to mention the bandages wrapped tightly around his neck, the spikes of anger and rage that made Shizuo who he was would flare up, sending those picture takers away instantly. Izaya could hear Shizuo’s low growls from where he stood, looking at the ground, and it made him wonder how Shizuo was handling this otaku convention.

Izaya loved it. There were so many people, all dressed up and acting as different representations from humanity in different worlds, coming together in one place to celebrate their attachment to those other worlds. There were examples of humans and their fantastic behaviors every way he looked, all crazy and colorful and designed to their own little worlds, but each of them no less human than the one beside them. That was part of the reason that Izaya (although he would never admit it) loved anime enough to be considered an otaku. Anime and manga tended to explore the different avenues of humanity, often with traumatic pasts or histories to help convolute the characters, and Izaya could study so much about his humans just by watching them. He could see the shifting paths that people took and marvel at the attachments, obsessions, relationships, rivalries, decisions, and mistakes that they made with every unreal situation they faced.

Of course, the humans of anime didn’t compare to the real thing, but that was what was so great about this otaku convention. All these people were here to display those avenues of humanity and human development and interact with each other in crazy, chaotic ways that you would never see out on a street. And Izaya got to interact and mold those different interactions right along with them! It was exciting!

However, he was fairly certain that Shizuo did not agree. He was probably looking at this thing as one big dress-up convention where he was being forced to stand like a display for others’ pleasure, unable to leave even though he really wanted to, and not enjoying a single moment of the ogling he was getting for his amazing cosplay.

Izaya had to admit that despite his excitement and euphoria over all the colorful humans around him, he felt a little bad that he was putting his boyfriend through so much when he’d promised just to find the guy pants and then have a relaxing afternoon to themselves. Maybe he should call it quits for the day. They’d been walking around the convention, talking to people and taking pictures with admirers for over an hour now, probably close to two hours.

Shizuo had been through enough. It was time for them to leave.

Izaya bowed to the people taking pictures of him, saying that his sensei was calling him, and he ducked through the crowd of squealing girls, making his way over to his moody boyfriend who had managed to find a nice corner to tuck himself in, away from everyone else.

Shizuo was currently looking down at his phone, that same sulking expression on his handsome face, fake blue eyes glued to whatever distraction he was giving himself to get away from his horrible reality. His other hand was occupied by their bag of pajamas which he’d refused to leave in the back room in case someone “otakued” them. He wasn’t comfortable with any part of this event at all.

“Hey.” Izaya said gently, and Shizuo’s head snapped up instantly, eyes wide with alarm even as his mouth set itself in a scowl, ready to scare away anyone looking to take a picture of him. When he saw that it was just Izaya, his shoulders slumped in relief and he leaned back against the wall, still holding his phone tightly in his hand.

“Hey.” The blonde (well, now long-haired brown-blonde) responded in a mutter, his contacts-covered eyes looking up to meet Izaya’s. “Um…are you done?”

Izaya laughed at the blunt question, so obviously a plead for them to leave, and shook his head. “No. I’m good for another three hours or so.” He answered honestly, and this time the shoulders were slumping in depression as Shizuo’s head dropped to stare at his phone again. “I see.” He muttered dejectedly. “I’ll just be here if you need me, then.”

So he was still willing to stay (even if he wasn’t with Izaya) so long as it was something Izaya wanted to do. The sweet gesture behind that made Izaya’s heart flutter a bit in his chest, although he tried to push it down immediately. Ritsuka was wary of love in all forms, and so was Izaya. Although…Shizuo was a bit of a different story.

“Actually,” Izaya said aloud, reaching out two fingers to place them under Shizuo’s chin, gently tilting the blonde’s head back up again. Izaya smiled at the confused expression on his boyfriend’s face, feeling that same flutter in his chest again as he said, “I was thinking we could leave now. It’s my birthday, after all. Let’s go find someplace to eat a bunch of bitter foods and celebrate my survival of another year of life.”

Hope instantly flashed into Shizuo’s blue eyes, and he practically perked up as he looked at Izaya, phone slipping smoothly into his pocket. “Really?” He asked quickly, tone urgent. “Are you serious? Do you mean that? Can we leave?”

Izaya laughed at how desperate Shizuo seemed as he asked, realizing that it was definitely time to go if the blonde was freaking out this much.

“Yeah, we can leave.” Izaya promised, pulling on Shizuo’s hand with a smile. “And Erika said we could keep the outfits so you now get to wear those lovely white jeans, that nice pale green shirt, and an only slightly odd purple trench coat with black fur!”

Izaya paused for a second and then added, “Which I want, by the way. When you’re done with it.”

“You can have it now if you want.” Shizuo said a bit too eagerly, slipping out of the coat and slinging it over Izaya’s shoulders in seconds. “That thing is hot!”

Izaya laughed and pulled the jacket tighter around him, trying hard not to purr as the thick jacket plus the added warmth from Shizuo’s body warmed up his own. “Much obliged, Soubi.” He teased, and Shizuo’s relieved expression swiftly changed into a scowl as he hit the raven upside the head with a glare. “Shut up. My name is Shizuo.” The blonde growled, clearly already considering the convention over.

“No, it’s not.” Izaya responded easily, smiling up at his boyfriend. “Your name is Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo rolled his eyes, sighing at the ever-present nickname and pointing towards the exit across the building from them. “Whatever. Can we just leave now?” He grumbled, body already inching towards the exit even as he spoke.

Izaya nodded, slipping his hand out of the warmth of the jacket to grab Shizuo’s and pulling him over to the door.

“Oh, are you leaving Ritsuka?!” A girl cried from somewhere behind them. “Come back! I haven’t gotten a picture with you yet!”

Izaya was about to open his mouth to spout some kind of Ritsuka-like excuse, but Shizuo beat him to it.

“He ain’t taking any more pictures.” The blonde growled, his eyes flashing dangerously at the crowd that was beginning to follow them. “No more pictures, no more chit-chat, no more Ritsuka. Go find some other cat boy to torment.”

The crowd looked like they wanted to protest (otakus had boundless limits of courage when it came to their anime and favorite characters) but Shizuo quickly swept Izaya out of the convention room before another word could be spoken, taking them out of the crazy otaku air and into the sunlight of the regular world.

“Geez Shizu-chan, where’s the fire?” Izaya joked, and Shizuo just smacked him upside the head yet again. “Let’s find something to eat and take these dumb contacts out.” The blonde muttered in response, marching off and out of the alley. “I hate having blue eyes and you look weird without your red ones. You’re much more beautiful when you look like yourself and not some dumb cat.”

Izaya fought furiously to hide the blush that was rising up at that compliment, poking Shizuo in the side and muttering something about hating how sappy Shizuo was, but the blonde simply looped an arm around Izaya’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to his forehead, already knowing what Izaya really meant to say was “thank you”.

They ended up at a café, which happened to be a cat café serving an all-day special of bitter triple espresso cookie crisps (how perfect could you get?) with a side menu for strawberry shortcakes and other sweet disasters for Shizu-chan to devour.

Thanks to some pocket money that Izaya had made from charging for pictures at the convention (he was a genius, truly he was), both boys were able to select their chosen desserts and enjoy them in the calm of the café, contacts out, wigs and feline accessories off, and normalish clothes in places aside from the purple trench coat that Izaya was refusing to remove.

As they ate their desserts, Izaya was able to read a few of the text messages on Shizuo’s phone upside down, discovering that the Heiwajimas were planning a surprise birthday party for him with Shichi and the twins’ help for when he and Shizuo came back home.

It was only thanks to the fact that Izaya and Shizuo had been gone so long today that the party-planners had been able to pull it off. Izaya’s little detour in chasing the cat had paid off. And they never would have seen this café if they hadn’t been walking back to Shizuo’s house from the convention center. And Shizuo still would be missing pants and regular clothes in general if they hadn’t been dragged in there by Erika and Walker. Yep, life was pretty good right now all thanks to one thing.

“See Shizu-chan.” Izaya said as he happily took another bite of his espresso crisps, loving the bitter coffee flavor that settled on his tongue as he thought about what kind of birthday party he would be getting. “Black cats are lucky. They’re some of the luckiest things ever.”

As Shizuo watched his boyfriend happily eat his dessert, brand new (and free) outfits that perfectly fit them both covering their previously pajama-ridden bodies, a surprise party for the raven being cooked up on his phone, and beautifully sunny weather now filling the sky, a small smile crept over the blonde’s face.

“Yes.” He agreed, watching his gorgeous boyfriend devour that disgusting crisp like it was some delicacy. “Black cats are the luckiest things in the world.”

**Author's Note:**

> And that was that! Thanks you guys for reading it and I hope you loved my little story of fluff! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
> 
> P.S. To all of you "Private Lessons" readers who commented on the last chapter, I will be getting to your comments this evening! I was a little too tired to do it last night! Okay! Random little insert complete!
> 
> See you next time! <3


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